


puzzled

by hwiyoung



Series: 100 ways to say "i love you" [1]
Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11251308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwiyoung/pseuds/hwiyoung
Summary: rowoon needs taeyang by his side.





	puzzled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [persont](https://archiveofourown.org/users/persont/gifts).



> 100 ways to say "i love you"  
> – 17. i need you by my side
> 
> gifted to persont for being my first sf9 writer friend, and for beta'ing for me (hhahahah this is unbeta'd tho can u tell) and always being up for discussions on sf9 <3

They kind of just… happened.

One moment they were two. Seokwoo and Taeyang. You blink once, and suddenly it becomes Seokwoo-and-Taeyang.

Was it a natural course of action? If you spent some time squinting a little at all the small moments, maybe, they’d all fall into place – and you’d wonder why you ever expected anything else to have happened.

But no one’s too fussed about the tiny, tiny details of the puzzle, as long as you can see the whole picture.

 

 

 

There’s one day where things change, but it’s a regular afternoon. Nothing’s out of the ordinary – in the kitchen, Chanhee and Youngkyun are up to their ears in homework and stacks of books, and in the living room, the eldest three seem like they’re involved in a competition to see who can embarrass themselves the most, with Juho as the judge.

Seokwoo and Taeyang are entrusted with the important task of buying snacks. They leave the dorm bundled up in warm sweaters and coats, and their hands holding onto wallets in their pockets.

A few hours later, they return with one hand carrying a bag full of snacks, and one hand in the other’s.

They don’t go inside immediately.

They stand outside the entrance, Taeyang’s let go of Seokwoo’s hand and placed it on the door handle. He grips it tightly, because for as bold as he can be on stage, he shakes slightly in his anxious anticipation now. But for what? This place is somewhere he can call home. It has packets of ramen stuffed in the shelves, Inseong’s brightly coloured underwear in drawers, and the tangerines he’s hidden in his drawer.

The people he’s about to face are like his brothers. Taeyang’s already gone through so much with them. He’s seen their tears of joy, frustration, hopelessness. It’s gotten to the point where stripping down in front of each other isn’t uncomfortable.

He has no need to be afraid.

(Yet, the thought that should be comforting doesn’t halt the cold that creeps up his back slowly.)

Seokwoo squeezes his hand. Something familiar he can hold onto, and use as an anchor as his stomach flips and overturns like a ship caught in a storm at sea.

Some form of warmth and courage surges through him, and before he regrets it – he pushes open the door. Their eyes fall on everyone gathered around the table.

A chorus of greetings wash over them, and Taeyang watches as Seokwoo’s shoulders slump a little out of relief – before Chanhee turns to look at them.

His face scrunches up.

Both of them tense up again. Taeyang holds his breath. Nervousness curls up and settles itself in his chest.  _ Is he going to ask us what happened or is he about to call us out on this or say we’re weird and he hates us or– _

“Did you end up buying the chicken? Hyung, I’m really hungry.”

Fear lets go of the tight grip on his heart slowly, and he breathes out. None of the hard questions he was expecting. (But he’s not surprised. Asking about his chicken is so typical of the youngest, and far from being out of character.)

Seokwoo’s only reply is, “Of course.” (After all, when has Seokwoo  _ not _ spent all his money for Chanhee’s chicken? The maknae is too spoilt, honestly.)

And then Seokwoo tugs his hand to catch his attention, lifts the bag up a little and tilts his head towards the kitchen. Taeyang takes it as his cue to follow, and trails behind the taller male.

After a moment of hesitation, he chances it, and turns his head.

No-one even bothers to give them a second glance.

 

 

 

Taeyang wouldn’t know about this, because he was in the shower, but later, Youngbin sidles up to Seokwoo as he’s cooking.

The kitchen is already quite cramped with pans and plates all over place, without two bodies invading the space. So Seokwoo doesn’t say much, but casts a dirty look at a sheepish Youngbin. He doesn’t stay upset for long though, and his face relaxes into a smile.

It’s quiet, save for Seokwoo whisking an egg. The leader’s eyes shift left to right, with his brow furrowed. It seems like Youngbin wants to say something, even if he doesn’t quite know where to start.

He decides to begin with, “You mean…”

Seokwoo spares him a quick glance, before his gaze turns back to the sizzling frying pan. “I mean what?”

Then Youngbin coughs. He tries again. “The two of you weren’t already dating?”

Seokwoo cocks his head to one side, and looks up to squint at Youngbin. “Um… no?”

The pan suddenly spits oil, and Youngbin is the only one to flinch. Seokwoo’s used to it by now.

The leader reaches up to scratch the back of his head, cheeks flushing. “We all just thought you weren’t ready to tell us, or something.”

 

 

 

Seokwoo is someone that Taeyang greatly looks up to.

And not just literally, because of his height. It’s a few other things – he’s incredibly handsome, but still humble, he’s got an extra year of life experience and he’s been training the longest (honestly, 6 years!), alongside Juho. There’s a lot to admire about him.

He almost forgets he’s standing in the middle of the practice room, hunched over with his hands on his thighs and heaving great big breaths. He stares blankly at his mirror image, until Seokwoo draws him in by the waist and pulls him flush against his chest. Taeyang breathes out a sigh when the taller wraps his arms around him. He loves it secretly, it’s like a cocoon (protected and safe,  _ home _ ) – but he squeaks when Seokwoo squeezes him.

“You’re so cute.”

Seokwoo’s voice is so casual, that Taeyang’s blush reaches the tip of his ears.

“You should take a break, you’ve been working hard.”

And Seokwoo knows, just how much effort Taeyang puts in. He was there with him when his throat hurt and tears pricked his eyes because he didn’t want to let his team down, and even though he was experiencing the same thing, whispered comforting words in Taeyang’s ear. He’s already seen Taeyang when his legs have given out beneath him, lying on the floor trying to chasing his breath. He was there to hold him up, to be Taeyang’s support as they walked slowly back to their dorms.

The thing that Taeyang admires about Seokwoo is the way he cares for others, encouraging them to test their limits but always reminding them to hold back a little, to think about their health. Even if he forgets to do it, on occasion, just sometimes.

Maybe it’s those things that should make things awkward between them, but nothing really does.

 

 

 

They walk out the doors.

This is not the first time he’s been here. (Nor will it be the last, with the pace their careers are moving at.) But it is the first time there’s been this many flashing lights that blind him and leave him dazed and confused.

The smell puts him off, as odd as it may seem. Will he ever get used to it? The smell seems to vary from airport to airport, but it still has that distinctive airport smell. (That’s a lot of times to use to the word airport and smell, he giggles to himself.)

Taeyang’s eyes dart around the area, and his smile is the largest one he can plaster on his face. (Not like it’s that big, when his heart is pounding in his ears and he can hardly figure out where he is.) 

His feet take him in the direction he hopes his other members are. ( _ Where are they where are they _ , his panicked mind chants.) He’s hoping he’ll make it out to safety, away from the overwhelming noise and into the comfort of his dorm. ( _ Seokwoo. _ )

But then there’s a hand on his shoulder, an arm wrapped around him. He’s enveloped by a familiar smell. He’s been here before, and the tension falls away.

Taeyang breathes out.

 

 

 

During the ride back to their dorm, Taeyang finds himself sitting in the middle – nestled into Seokwoo’s side and with Youngkyun’s head on his shoulder. In the quiet, he and Seokwoo are the only ones half-awake and lost in their own little bubble.

He blinks sleepily up at Seokwoo, who smiles down at him.

“You know, I get worried if you’re not with me,” Seokwoo whispers, lifting one hand to poke at his cheeks. “I need you by my side.”

(They still haven’t said it, the three words that hold more weight than their combined 140 kilograms.)

(But, they don’t need to.)

 

 

 

Seokwoo.

Taeyang.

The pieces of a puzzle are only that – pieces. 

There are pieces that clearly don’t fit with each other. There are others that seem like a match, but if you force it, they don’t fit into each other at all.

And then there are the ones that have meant to be with each other all along, the pieces slotting into each other perfectly to show you a full picture.

You need the other by your side, for it to become complete.

 

 

 

Seokwoo-and-Taeyang.

**Author's Note:**

> i had this sitting in my drafts for a while and ?? hhh i kind of don't know where i was going with it but i ¿sort of? liked it so,,, it's here but i might come back to it :-)
> 
> i rly wanted to write this pairing because everything for it so far has been mature/explicit haha yikes


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